0:00-1:00 I am dating peacefully.
1:01-1:07 I find a spider on the table.
1:08-1:17 I stare blankly.
1:17-1:25 I get up.
1:25-1:50 I race to the restroom for toilet paper.
1:51-2:01 I grab a piece.
2:02-2:12 I race back to the table before the spider attacks my girlfriend.
2:13-2:27 I reach the table.
2:28-2:41 The spider and I have a staring contest.
2:42-2:44 I make the first move (Attempting to smash the spider).
2:45-3:20 I keep attempting its death, failing.
3:21-3:25 The spider jumps on my hand.
3:26-4:20 I panic, knowing a spider is on my hand and I can't smash it without hurting myself.
4:21-4:57 I make a mad dash for the restroom.
4:58-5:01 I reach the restroom.
5:02-5:05 I grab the spider and try to toss it in the toilet and it spins its web and stays on my hand.
5:06-5:18 I grab toilet paper, pick up the spider and toss them in the toilet, succeeding.
5:19-5:25 I flush the toilet, watching the helpless arachnid.
5:26-6:52 I walk calmly to the table, recovering from everything the spider did.
