http://www.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/ehceb/i...
...THIS WINTER...Slowly key formulaic Hollywood music...ONE MAN TAKES ON, WHAT NO-ONE ELSE DARED TO...Cue flashes of close-up shots of Julian Assange in extravagent locationsFLASH 1
Assange is skiing in Zermatt, Switzerland - kitted in imaculate white snow gear and state-of-the-art reflective GPS snow goggles. He is also wearing a jet-pack.
He swishes off a snow ledge & nails a solid landing, escaping machine-gun fire from behind.
Sudden pan shot of his secret chalet. Assange is inside, using the latest MacBook Air that just came out.
String quartet builds up threatening musicFLASH 2
Assange is being chased on foot in broad daylight by the MET police in Liverpool Street Station, London.
Assange wears a white shirt, black suit. Signature black tie flaps behind him as he sprints.
Camera shot of police running with Custodian helmets awkwardly shoved under their armpits;
Police whistles are being blown frantically.Police: "In her Majesty's name! Stop him! STOP HIM!"
Police run into clueless tourists and fumbles over them. Assange escapes. Helicopter explodes.
...THEY TRIED TO HIDE FROM US...FLASH 3
Full orchestra kicks in with threating music...THE TRUTH....In an unkown underground location. Surrounded with priceless art.Assange whispers to his lawyer: "She told me to use the pull-out method! Just like they did in Iraq!"
...BUT THIS TIME, THE TRUTH...Cue overwhelming, high-tension, theatrical music...WILL FIND THEM...Flashing shots of top executives being assissinated; thrown off buildings; choked with fibre-wires, etc. Rolls-Royce explodes in slow motion
Flashes accelerate in accordance with suspensive high-squealing string music... THIS WINTER, PREPARE ...FOR PAYBACK...Goes suddenly to black screen. Music Stops.
... A S S A N G E ...COMING TO THEATRES NEAR YOU

